The Terror
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: The Turks have a visitor and she's not happy. ReTi oneshot.


The Terror

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for all you ReTi fans out there. Please R&R.

Tseng was at his office, filling out paperwork as usual, when his intercom buzzed.

"Yes?"

"Sir...I tried to stop her but it was no use..."

"What are you talking about?"

"She's coming up...I'm sorry sir!"

And with a screech of static the line went dead. Sparing the intercom another second of puzzlement, Tseng soon formulated a plan and left his office.

Elena and Rude were at their cubicles, of Reno there was no sign. Motioning for them to follow after him, the Wutian and his subordinates walked towards the elevator and were about to call one when the doors opened and they were met with a pair of blazing brown eyes.

A very pregnant Tifa Lockhart stomped towards Tseng until she was inches from his face.

"Why hasn't Reno come home yet?" the normally docile barmaid asked, venom in her tone.

"He has to work a little late tonight, as do we all. I do- but Tifa cut him off by grabbing his collar.

"You'll let him come home with me right now or else I'll make you eat this tie!" Elena moved a little, her eyes widened at Tifa's behavior. The Avalanche member noticed this and shifted her attention to her.

"Where's Reno, fat ass?" Elena balked at that and held up her hands in supplication.

"I don't know. He said he was taking a smoke break and- but Tifa pushed her out of the way as she moved into their work area, eyes scanning every corner for her husband. Tseng started to follow after her but Elena latched onto his arm.

"Sir, don't! Mood swings are scary things and you know how strong she is," Elena whispered.

"I refuse to be spoken to like that," Tseng replied coolly and went in, Elena and Rude following behind.

Tifa was currently breaking down each and every closed door she found in the search for Reno and as she turned around to check the western half of the room, she noticed the three Turks.

"Ms. Lockhart, I understand you're feeling a bit different thanks to your condition but you must understand how foolish this is." Tifa stomped up to him once again and glared. Soon enough though, her eyes started watering and the fighter was bawling.

"I-I'm sorry!! I just need to find Reno. I've mi-missed him all day!" She buried her face in Tseng's suit jacket and her tears splattered all over him. The Turk patted her back hesitantly and looked at Elena for help.

"Tifa, it's okay. He'll be back in a moment and then you two can go home, alright?" But as Elena touched Tifa's shoulder reassuringly, the brunette sniffled a little before glaring at the blond.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you Blondie? Then tomorrow you'll try and seduce him all over again, won't you?! Don't think I don't know what you're really like, you hussy!"

"Tifa, I don't-

"Shut up! Why don't you make yourself useful for once and go get me some apple pie covered in steak sauce!" Elena looked at Tseng for a moment before he nodded, the female Turk then leaving as fast as possible.

By this point, Tifa had moved away from Tseng and noticed Rude staring calmly at her. She broke into a wide grin and came up to the bald man, patting him on the shoulder.

"Rude, you really need to come visit us more. We miss you big guy!"

"I'll try," Rude responded. Tifa nodded her head and turned around when she heard some hurried footsteps coming from her left. Elena had returned, the blond raiding the Shinra bakery for apple pie and grabbing some A1 from the cafeteria.

Holding a plate out with a slice of pie smothered in steak sauce, Elena waited for Tifa to thank her.

"You try it first, it could be rotten," Tifa said calmly. When Elena didn't eat the pie, Tifa glared at her and the blond gave a squeak, quickly taking a large bite of the concoction.

Chewing it slowly, she managed to swallow it and gave Tifa a shaky thumbs up.

"It's delicious!" Tifa's eyes narrowed and shook her head.

"I don't believe you. In fact, I'm not that hungry after all so you better finish it. You shouldn't waste food you know." Elena gave a barely audible moan at this and looked to Tseng. The raven haired Turk just gave her another nod although his eyes did give her a sympathizing stare.

So Elena went to her desk and poured all the steak sauce she could on the rest of the pie, cut herself another slice, and dug in, her taste buds crying out in pain.

"What on Gaia is going on down here?!" Rufus Shinra's commanding voice demanded. But as the blond came down the stairs and he met Tifa's furious gaze, he composed himself a little. "Lockhart, you're looking rather obese, did you know that?" Tseng, Rude, and Elena winced as the words left his mouth.

Rufus had never bothered to ask his employees about their family life. And in the split second he had to think before Tifa broke his nose, he made a vow to change that.

As Rufus's unconscious body crumpled to the ground, Tifa turned her attention to Tseng. But before she could speak, a flash of red caught her eye.

"Reno!" And moving surprisingly quick for a woman in such an advanced stage of pregnancy, she was across the room and hugging her husband in the blink of an eye.

"Tifa, what are you doing here?" Reno asked, surveying the wrecked room and unconscious body of his boss's boss before returning his gaze to his wife. Tifa sniffled at that and looked up at him with watery eyes.

"I missed you...you didn't come home when you usually do so I decided to come to you." Reno smiled gently at her and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thanks for checking up on me babe. I should have called you though, I'm sorry I forgot."

"It's alright Re," Tifa replied, kissing him deep on the lips. Once she was done, she broke apart from him and turned to Tseng, giving him a wide smile.

"Thanks for all your help. Rude, come by more often, 'kay? And Elena...." Tifa looked around and then remembered she was at her cubicle. Walking up to the blond, Tifa noticed the crumbs all over her face, not to mention the stains of steak sauce around her lips. The Turk's belly was heavily distended, a testament to the large pie she had consumed. Patting her friend's rounder belly, Tifa giggled at the belch that escaped Elena's lips. "Thanks for the help. And good job finishing all that pie!"

"Any-URP-anytime, Tifa..." Elena mumbled, her eyes unfocused due to the massive volume of food.

Returning to her husband, the couple left.

Elena managed to get to her feet and walked over to Tseng, cradling her new pot belly and undoing the button on her slacks, freeing up more room for her stuffed gut.

"Sir....are we going to URP charge her for the property damage?" Elena asked.

"No, we're going to forget this ever happened and make damned sure Reno gets home on time everyday from now on, understood?" Elena nodded and tried to salute but only ended up cradling her distended stomach once more.

"How big was that pie?" Rude asked as he watched her moan in pain.

"It was...a...HIC...URP...triple stuffed...family special..."

"Tseng..." Rufus's voice called out weakly. Tseng was instantly helping the president to his feet and looked at him intently.

"Yes?"

"Give Reno a vacation until his wife is back to her normal state of mind, alright?" Tseng nodded and helped Rufus to a nearby chair, the blond passing out once again.

* * *

_A year later..._

Reno walked into his office and gave Elena a warm smile.

"What are you so happy about?" the blond asked.

"Tifa's pregnant again!"

Elena started shivering then and rushed towards Tseng's office, babbling about a vacation for the next nine months.

"Was it something I said?" Reno wondered, scratching his head.


End file.
